Relationship Anxiety: What it means; and how you can get over it

Dating, being in a relationship and being married… all of these come with their special types of worries and concerns.

The average single person often wonders if they would find love and it they will do it at the right time they want.The one in a relationship has thoughts on whether the relationship would last; whether it would move seamlessly and transition into a marriage. The married person also has their own concerns. They worry whether their partner would cheat, if the sex in the marriage will be good enough, if it would last till death does them part, if the marriage will be dissolved for irreconcilable differences… etc.

Relationship anxiety is the unhealthy fixation on these thoughts; the magnification of worries till it begins to stress and wear you down. It is the irrational fears that are dwelled upon and left to fester.

Many times, these anxious feelings are escalated by previous relationship disappointments, self-esteem issues, stuff you hear about failed relationships all around you, etc. So when you find yourself experiencing relationship anxiety, what and what should you do?

1.   Ask for help

It does not hurt to seek professional help. A couple’s therapist does not sound like a bad idea.

2.   Communicate

Talk to your partner about it. Don’t try to bottle it all in and hope to figure it all out by yourself. You just may be worsening it.

If you communicate with your partner, it shows your partner how to love you better and if he or she is really a great partner, that’s more reasons why they should offer you reassurances more regularly.

3.  Pay more attention to your interests

The more productive things you have occupying your mind, the less likely you are to feel anxious, according to Psycom.

“If you are putting all of your focus on a romantic relationship, chances are you are going to feel anxious [about it],” the website says.

4.   It’s really OK to be yourself

When a partner chooses to be with you despite knowing you and all of your flaws, it is actually Ok to be cool with that information and not try to second guess it.

It is fine to be yourself and do things your way without being worried that it’d make your partner fall out of love with you; or that they would find you boring and unlovable. If they say they want you with all your curves and your edges, trust them on it till they show it is not OK to trust anymore.

5.   Don’t deny the unhealthy feelings

People who feel unsteady in a relationship may be tempted to avoid or distract from the issues causing problems.

According to Psycom, “avoiding is only a temporary solution, and it often ends in heated conflict. Set a standard for addressing issues head on in the relationship, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

“If you need a third party to help foster better communication, don’t hesitate to work with a counselor together or individually.”

Acknowledging it is really needed to make sure that you curb those anxious thoughts before it becomes too much.