The Dilemma of Sending & Receiving Nudes

  By Nkem Ndem

If you have ever sent or received a nude picture, you are not alone. We live in an age where people communicate via texts much more than they connect in person; sexting (or sending nude pictures) is no longer an uncommon event. In fact, unless you’re 60 and above, chances are you have had to send or view a nude picture in the recent past. Even more, with the evident rise of ‘sugar parenting’ in Nigeria, a number of people above the 60-year age cut have actually taken intimate pictures/videos, and shared them with people they are romantically involved with.
Disclaimer: This article is in no way an attempt to “corrupt young minds” or encourage the act of sexting and exchange of nude pictures, especially as most people in the country would rather believe that such “perversion” is not flourishing in our society and young people today are not really doing it. But, like I believe, knowledge is power.
Preaching abstinence and insisting that no “well-raised” person in their right mind should send nude pictures will only backfire, as it would only ensure people get into more trouble doing it anyway without the knowledge they need to protect themselves while at it.
In reality, sending nudes or sexy photos to one’s significant other isn’t something that should never be done. It can help spice up relationships and keep the bedroom fire burning. The risk, however, lies in the possibility of those nudes being leaked or ending up in a public forum later on. Sure, there is trust and an expectation of privacy when sending the picture, but you cannot predict the future or control the internet completely. There is ALWAYS the possibility of your photos finding their way to the public. You need to be smart.
Here are a few suggestions on how to send and receive a nude pictures:
Do not bluntly ask for nudes from people you are not intimate with
While asking for nudes seems like a super sexy move to so many, it actually is not. There is nothing remotely sexy about openly asking to see another person’s privates – unless you are in close physical proximity to them, you are about to have sex with them, or you have had sex with them before.
Asking for nudes from someone you have not been intimate with reeks of perversion, and come across as a sexual predator. If you feel you must see their nudes, be creative about it and imply that you would be delighted to have them send it to you …without you openly asking for it.
If he/she feels comfortable and confident to send it to you on their own, it would even hype the sexual tension. If, on the other hand, they do not send it, do not pressure them to do so, that would just be desperate, unattractive and shameful.
Do not send nudes to people who haven’t asked for it
Perhaps you want to seduce him and let him know you are interested in being intimate with him; you want to taunt him and let him know what he will be missing if he doesn’t man up, or maybe you want to wow her with the size of your ‘banana’ and get her to dump her boyfriend for you. Whatever the reason, do NOT do it. Do not send unsolicited nudes. Your intention may be to surprise, but it can be a huge distraction and even cause problems for the receiver assuming he/she is not a favorable position to view the picture.
Again, it could also fall into the wrong hands and cause you unplanned embarrassment.
Only send nude pictures to people you can trust
You would think this is a no brainer and everyone should know not to send nude or racy photos of themselves to people they do not know well enough to trust with such personal details, but, no…apparently, common sense is not gifted to many.
To be fair though, some people get carried away by the excitement of finding a new love interest they become careless. Make sure you trust the person you are sending the picture to. Being in a relationship with the person is not even enough reason to trust them. Employ your intuition and ask yourself: is this girl someone who could possibly publish my nudes as revenge, or use them as blackmail later on? Is this dude someone who values privacy and takes basic security precautions with his devices?
Be convinced that the person is someone who understands the value of the safekeeping of your photo before you hit SEND.
Remain anonymous – No face, No tattoo, No birthmarks
Before you decide to send nudes, consider the possibility of the picture being leaked and take the appropriate security measures. Ensure the picture is taken at an angle that cannot easily be traced back to you. Never ever include your face, whether with makeup or wearing a mask. Furthermore, do not include noticeable characteristics of yourself such a tattoo, distinctive piercings, or birthmark in the picture.
Again, do not take the picture in a surrounding that can be linked to you, wearing jewelry or accessories than can easily be traced back to you or posing with a pet that belongs to you. You want to be able to deny until you die that it’s not you in the picture.
Before you send, make sure you have insurance
This may sound petty…but can you really be human without being a little petty? Before you send a nude picture to anyone (even the love of your life), ALWAYS collect insurance. This does not necessarily mean you should ask for their own nude picture first. That could bring on a serious you- don’t- trust-me/ you-don’t-love-me war. You don’t want that.
Be creative. Find out other incriminating information about them that you can protect yourself with should the need ever arise. It could be ‘playful’ shots or footage of the other person in a compromising position or voice recording of something they have said. This is not playing games or being mean.
The truth is: you can never really know who you can trust in this cruel, cold world. You always need collateral. He would definitely think twice about posting a naked picture you sent to her on the internet when he knows you have a chat with him admitting to being involved in YahooYahoo.
If you are careless and the photo gets leaked, own it
This is the most painful part of sending and receiving nude pictures, the part where you forget to protect yourself, the picture is leaked and traced back to you. Of course, your first instinct would be to deny it and claim the pictures were fabricated using Photoshop or other picture editing software, but when you are certain the accompanying evidence will certainly prove your claims wrong, embrace the situation and own the picture.
It is not the worst thing in the world. People have gone to photographers to have their nudes photographed and they went on to publish it. Be proud of your body and own the picture. #freethenipple.
Do not wallow in shame and guilt either as the fault of a leaked picture is never the fault of the person who sent the picture but the scum who decided to break the bond of trust and share it with the whole world. You will be alright.
At the end of the day computers and cell phones get hacked, you get robbed of the devices that have your nude pictures in them, and the person you trusted to send the picture to could turn around and betray you. If you are sending a nude picture, you have to be prepared for the worst case scenario. Following these suggestions above will certainly protect you and lower the risk of messing up with nude picture…but it is not a complete guarantee that your nudes won’t be leaked.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Photographerlondon