The likelihood that two people will be happy
together in a relationship or marriage is predicated on their ability to
find a common ground on many things. Couples in healthy relationships
and happy marriages see eyeball to eyeball on so many subjects - sex, finances, communication, etc.
It is what makes relationships tick; that
connection of thoughts and like-mindedness on all matters of life. If
you ever wonder why couples break up for irreconcilable differences,
this is one of it. Their ideas of how things should work in the
relationship must have become unworkably disconnected, detached to such
extent that redemption could no longer be found for them.
And here is what is more important to
learn in this compatibility discourse: it is never enough to find
agreement on just the insignificant aspect[s] of life. Partners’ views
on life’s issues have to be synchronized, particularly on matters that
are of fundamental significance to their togetherness – like sex and
spirituality.
Of course, the importance of sex does not need
any special explanation anymore. Everyone in a relationship or marriage
and even those who are only still intending to someday get into one
already understand how vital this is. Due to the elevated role of sex in
keeping people happy in romantic relationships, it makes perfect sense.
As we have already clearly stated in this previous post here that sexual compatibility is a thing that partners need to discuss before getting together, and must continue to strive towards long after they’ve become an item.
Having said that; it’s about time we also
touched on the spiritual angle of relationships and marriages, something
that doesn’t get as much attention or discussion as other relationship
aspects, despite being just as important.
In a society like ours where religion
is a big deal and romantic relationships with huge potentials have been
cut off solely because of religious differences, religious
compatibility is something to reckon with when going into relationships.
And while it may be an insignificant thing at the beginning when two
people are just sizing each other up, going on dates and all, difference
in religious beliefs could snowball into the a real dealbreaker when
people somehow find themselves connected on all other important levels
except on the subject of their faith.
This is why it is important to ask from the get-go if differences in religious beliefs will be an issue down the road or not.
While some will say their partner has to compulsorily practice the same religion as them, some aren’t so strict on the rule.
Even when practicing the same religion as a
partner, you need to know if your understanding of the religion is in
the same line, or maybe theirs is a brand too zealous than you can
handle.
In Christianity for example; some folks have
no problem giving all their income to God as seeds and covenant
offerings. Is your Christian faith strong enough to the point that this
won’t be an issue especially when a partner keeps doing it like, every
month?
There was a story once reported on social
media of a husband who gave up the only family car as an offering right
in the middle of a church service, only for the wife to throw a very
wild tantrum on their return home before going to get the car back from
the man of God.
Will it be an issue if, somewhere along the
line, one partner becomes too invested in the things of the spirit to
the point that it affects their outlook on life, dressing and
appearance, child raising, sexual activities, availability, etc?
It has become such a cliché soundbite to hear single people speak of a desire for only God-fearing partners.
And while that may be admirable, it is also important that whether
before or after getting those relationships, partners need to gauge and
converse enough about their ideas of religious beliefs and spirituality;
such that they're always on the same page and operate on the same plane
when it comes to the things they do in their faith, and how those
things affect their relationship and marriage.
Just as a disconnect in sexual energy has the
capability to disturb the balance of a relationship/marriage and set a
foundation for resentment, incompatible spirituality also has the
ability to cause some serious damage in your relationship or marriage.
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